July 29, 2008

Today is “National Lasagna Day.” Write a paragraph explaining how to make a dish of lasagna.

So, Daily Writing Prompts thinks kids aren't going to know anything about Amelia Earhart, but are going to be able to whip up a quick recipe for lasagna off the top of their heads. No. That is incorrect.

And a paragraph? Boiling and separating perfect lasagna noodles takes a paragraph to explain by itself. That's before we even get to the interesting variety of cheese possibilities! We get it. You like things having to do with Garfield. Get over it.

Also, you act as if there wasn't just an earthquake here today, Daily Writing Prompts. I'M FINE THANKS FOR ASKING.

July 28, 2008

On this day the first fingerprint was taken. Ed Emberley is known for his fingerprint drawings. Think of several characters you could include in a story and write the story. Using ink and your fingers, create your characters.

Whoa, you're all over the place with this one, Daily Writing Prompts. Don't you want me to use the resources in my classroom to learn five (5) facts about Ed Emberley or some shit?

My story is going to be a cop show. Except since the characters all have fingerprints for faces, when a criminal commits a crime, they have to take a print of his face. A cop show is also a good idea because this town must be really scary since every character is a terrifying faceless monster.

July 24, 2008

Today is “Amelia Earhart Day” in honor of her birthday in 1897. Earhart was the first person to fly solo across the Pacific Ocean. Using resources in the classroom, learn five (5) facts about the Amelia Earhart and summarize them in your own words.

Ugh, really Daily Writing Prompts? As if elementary school kids don't already have to write, like, three reports every year on Amelia Earhart. Kids, the only important fact you need to know about Amelia Earhart is that she is never not wearing this goggles cap:


Never.

July 23, 2008

Robert Quackenbush, the author and illustrator of nearly two hundred books for young readers, was born on this day. When you grow up, would you like to be an author and/or illustrator? Why or why not?

Um, nice try “Daily Writing Prompts”, but I already AM grown up, so I can become an author and an illustrator any time I want.

But I can’t right now. I’m really busy.

July 22, 2008

July 22nd is the “Pied Piper of Hamelin Day.” The Brothers Grimm documented this legend. Using resources in the classroom, learn five (5) facts about the Pied Piper and summarize them in your own words.

Let's assume this classroom has Wikipedia, in which case you can learn about a million facts, mostly boring, about the Pied Piper (Did you know there’s an Opera based on this story? Try like seven Operas).

5 Facts:

1. The kids could have been “dancing” because they had Huntington’s disease. Like the guy from Law & Order: CI. In fact, most of the theories about what happened to these kids involved all the kids getting really sad diseases.

2. Another theory has to do with something called “Dancing Mania”, which sounds awesome. (Turns out it’s also a disease.)

3. Another theory is that the children left their parents on purpose to found cities of their own and colonize Europe. What? No.

4. A guy named James Finn Garner wrote a modern day version of the Pied Piper “that satirizes anti-capitalism.” Why would he do that?

5. “In an episode of Garfield and Friends, Garfield takes the role of the piper. Instead of children being taken away, Garfield takes away all the Italian chefs in the village.” Best fact.